Dinner at Finletters or the Dress

Abstract

In this memoir excerpt from Love of My Life, Barbara Mailer Wasserman recounts a seemingly minor social occasion—a dinner party in Bar Harbor during the summer of 1975—that becomes an occasion for reflection on identity, class, gender, and familial intimacy. Through carefully observed social comedy, including the accidental wearing of a dress inside out and the acoustic chaos of an elite gathering, Wasserman captures the performative absurdities of elite social spaces while asserting a quiet, ironic self-possession. The narrative culminates in a reflective exchange concerning her relationship with her brother, Norman Mailer, prompting a belated recognition of the formative emotional affirmation he provided during her childhood. The essay blends wit, vulnerability, and retrospective insight, offering a nuanced counterpoint to public narratives of Mailer by foregrounding private affection, sibling dynamics, and the gendered asymmetries of recognition and voice. As both social vignette and personal testament, the piece contributes meaningfully to the cultural and emotional archive surrounding Norman Mailer and those closest to him.